Brokeness

As you can see I've obtained opportunity to access the internet again;)

There is only one thing that I KNOW and that is Jesus and Him crucified it is through His name only that we can come before the Father.  When our God looks upon us He see's Jesus for He covers us and in Him we have righteousness for He is our righteousness.  Through Him we have the promise of eternal life.  In our weakness He is strong.  In our inability, He shows that He is able.  Unless the Lord builds the house the builders build in vain. If this is true and I believe scripture to be the Holy and Inspired Word of God then I should be submitting every activity and plan of mine unto God.  There are so many ways and days that I am so inadequate. 

Father God have mercy on me a sinner...

Why is it that we don't realize the gifts we've been given until they are taken away?  Please understand this is a more general question.  For those that know me well you know that my son Sammy was treasured in this life.  I guess I'm more referring to our rights to read Scripture and proclaim the Gospel of Jesus Christ.  Our right's to gather and pray together as Christians.  Our right and ability to provide retreats and places for kid's and adults to gather and hear the Good News of Jesus and encourage one another.  There are so many things that we take for granted that we believe will always be there regardless of our own personal involvement and contributions.  If not you then who?

Abraham and Lot traveled to the promise land together.  When they finally arrived Abraham gave Lot the choice to settle either to the right or to the left in the promise land.  Lot chose the area which overlooked the city of Sodom and Gomorrah if you follow the story through Genesis you will note that Lot ended up living in Sodom before it was destroyed.  He not only lived there but became important and official there.  What are our eyes and face pointed towards.  Are we being drawn in to what this World has to offer??  What concessions are we making to live our lifestyle?  In what ways are we becoming desensitized to sin and corrupt thinking and actions?

Father God have mercy on me a sinner...

I am a broken vessel.  A day does not go by without tears.  I am wondering and praying as to what purpose God has for me now.  I know I'm not alone in this search.  There are many believers facing painful circumstances and wading there way through the grief and pain.  The Word that hurts so much yet hold's such meaning is that God will make beauty from our ashes.  That He will work all things together for good to those who love Him and who are called according to His purpose.  So I spend my time before the Lord with tears streaming down my face.  I cannot sing or pray or come before the Father without tears.  (It makes it very difficult to leave the house or go to church or even pray) I am rarely able to stuff my emotions and answer questions personally without ending up in a painful place.  A long time ago I committed to living honestly and being real with others.  I told many people that life is messy and we need live in such a way that gives others permission to be messy too.  Little did I know just how messy my life would become.  Living with daily pain and grieving the loss of Sam has nearly crushed me.  What am I to do next??  It is before Jesus He will show me when it's time.  Pray for me and I will pray for you.

I'm so Blessed to be on the Journey with you,

Kris Munoz

Tomorrow we will begin a journey through 1Corinthians:)

Comments

[Becky]

Kris,

Bless your broken heart. Although circumstances are so different, I am also wading through sorrow and pain and found myself in tears more than not lately. We shall journey together. I have always wanted to journey through the Corinthians so I am looking forward to it.

[Sonya]

Kris,
Your messages about your faith, your struggles and about Sam are valuable and precious! Thank you for being honest and vulnerable. Thank you for sharing your journey!
In memory of my daughter Sarah
March 3,1998 - November 6, 2003